That was the name of a band I used to sing in. The only band where I didn't play with my drummer Viking, but where I covered songs by all kinds of artists with a guitarist and a bassist. Getting into the skin of the singer or vocalist and then adding my own colour to it. The band name came from the fact that these were songs that were not part of a carnival repertoire. We also used to play them in a melancholic, deep mood, where my voice was the second reason for the band name, because I have a dark, deep singing voice.


I loved that. Just getting into someone's skin. Interpreting the lyrics from the mood that was there at that moment and from there just being completely in the flow, being with the music. Waiting for the mutation, the moment of magic, the music made between the notes. Not played from notes, but simply in the frequency of voice, bass and guitar. Eyes closed and trust in what comes.


The word came this morning in the feeling I had when I woke up. Low. It's a frequency I carry with me. I go from high to low. From hope to pain, from passion to despair. It's mechanical and I can't direct or control it. It is something that belongs to me and that I have learned to appreciate. It gives me the opportunity to go into reflection mode for a while. Not by looking for reasons, because there are none. I'm just at the bottom of my emotional wave. But from loving the moment when you're not the bouncing ball of joy and happiness for a while. That when you see something, or when a memory passes you by, you are touched more quickly. That the tears flow faster and that all you have to do is feel and nothing else.


Knowing that this too will pass by on its own. That you cannot hold on to the low or the high. Because it is a wave. You are literally surfing the emotional waves in the sea of life. For no reason. Just being there and nothing else. It doesn't stay there, it goes away by itself. Until it does, it's actually quite nice to be in that melancholic mood. It's the time to be creative. For me, these are the moments when I sit down at my laptop and run my fingers over the keyboard. To see what comes out next. Being low is wonderful. It's quiet, nothing has to happen, I'm just being kind to myself, aware that everything I see now is less pink than it will be tomorrow or the day after, and that's fine.


That is awesome.