Feel free to ask

How incredibly much life itself teaches you the moment you can't do things the way you normally can. Not only because you are presented with your own limitations in a way that teaches you that a body has limitations anyway, but also in your limitations when it comes to asking for help and doing things together.


I broke my foot on November 14 and since then have been 'a little slower' with everything than I normally am. My body forces me to do this. My mind thinks it's all nonsense, because 'this won't kill you, just wait until the cast gets off and off it goes'. My body adapts, commits to healing, my mind is the big saboteur.


However, previous experience as a 'clumsy person' taught me that with broken bones, I don't have the average healing and recovery time of 6 weeks, but that for me it takes an average of 3 months for the bone to fully heal as well. So when I had to go to the hospital between Christmas and the new year's eve to have my X-ray taken, I was given the not entirely unexpected news that the bone had grown 0 mm and that I would therefore have to spend another 4 weeks in an "Airwalker" and then 2 weeks in a very sturdy shoe and then have another X-ray on February 7 to see how things would be then. Fine, I didn't expect anything else. It's nice that I can take off the airwalker in the evening and night and especially when showering, this felt like a giant step forward.


What strikes me, however, is that with the airwalker there is also more movement. In other words, the mind says: "So, now you have an airWALKER so you can also walk around a bit more now". And that means that I sit with my leg up less, I hobble around a lot more without crutches and I actually do as much as I can on my own again. And so that now results in a thick swollen ankle. My body is saying "STOP, back in your cage!".


And as I listen more and more to my body and less to my mind, these are those beautiful lessons. Your body setting boundaries and that you need to listen. And it also teaches you briefly again that it is fine to ask for help when you are in a family with two maturing daughters of 11, because if they help me in the household, I can take care of my foot.


The way I involve my daughters in this is a way that is not about being spoilt, about taking it for granted that I expect them to help me and that they will, of their own accord, do all kinds of things to make my life just a little bit easier. Pre-Human Design had I done that. Then they would have just been given assignments and I would have regularly sat at the table frustrated with a big question mark over my mind as to why they 'don't see it and why they don't just do everything by themselves'. Something we also appreciate so much in our society. 'Show guts, take your chances, do this, do that, take that step, initiate and if you take the initiative you will get there...'.


Well no. For 70% of the population, that doesn't apply at all. These people are only turned on when they are asked for something. Then the powerful motor they have inside them, the life force energy they have, can be turned on. And then the amount of work done is really impressive.


So my twin daughters have that too. I raise them according to their design. And that means I don't expect them to show initiative on their own but to live in response. And that means that out of respect for how they are designed and because I want to see them in it, I always ask them if they want to do something. And yes, they are young adolescents starting out, so sometimes a NOW comes after that. But it always starts with a question. How easy it can be.


Now sometimes I don't have the energy to ask for everything either. And these are challenges that I then look at again in reflection and then ideas come up where I stick to my principle that I want to keep asking the kids, but that it takes me as little energy as possible to do so and also that life is just too much fun to make a fuss about it.


So I made a little drawing of the dishwasher asking them to empty it at 10:00am every day and pack it back up. And how nice it is then when, as you sit writing this blog, downstairs you hear the sounds of emptying the dishwasher!


Also in work and in situations where it is thought and expected that people should take initiative, it might be a nice experiment to simply ask someone to do something more often. You will see that this is much more likely to produce satisfied employees. If only because of the contact you have. Life is too beautiful and too short to make a fuss.


Feel free to ask!